Aquaintance/Date Rape
In Heterosexual Dating Relationships
For Women
If you are a survivor of acquaintance rape, it is important to get medical treatment as soon as possible. It is also important to get counseling.
To help avoid dating violence, it is important to stay in touch with your feelings, values, and boundaries, and to be able to communicate those, particularly to your romantic partner. Sometimes you may be unsure of your feelings; this is okay as long as you are able to communicate when something your acquaintance expects of you or forces you to do makes you uncomfortable. Such communication may be difficult because our society encourages women to be passive, submissive, and indirect. Such behavior does not mean that a woman is to blame for date rape; it merely means that our society makes it very difficult to talk about sex. Without talking about sex, it is difficult to set clear boundaries.
Remember that you always have the right to express your feelings assertively. You may have to practice this. You have the right to set your sexual limits; nobody has the right to force you to do something you don't want to do. The perpetrator of date rape will frequently suggest things like "What about my feelings?" You do not have to protect the feelings of the aggressor, even if you know him. Remember, he is not protecting your feelings by forcing you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Telling someone "no" does not mean that you are being inconsiderate or mean. Your control of your body and your sexual activity is a right. In a situation in which you feel uncomfortable or a loss of control, trust your gut feelings. More often than not, they are correct.
