88% of men whose actions came under the legal definition of rape were adamant that their behavior did not constitute rape.
Consent and Coercion
Coercion occurs when sexual activity occurs without proper consent. Sexual coercion is the use of manipulation or threat to force someone to have sex.
Sexual violence does not occur in a vacuum. Many behaviors that are deemed socially acceptable actually promote and lead to sexual misconduct. These behaviors include:
- Touching another person without consent
- Initiating any sexual contact without explicit permission and/or without explicit awareness of what the other person wants
- Acting despite mixed signals from the other person
- Sexual contact with someone who is drunk or on drugs or otherwise unable to give consent
- Impulsive sexual action, or acting on a dare
On college campuses, it is often considered acceptable to pursue sex "by any means necessary". This attitude is a dangerous one to have when "by any means necessary" may include lack of consent between partners. It is important to remember that sex is only acceptable when it is consensual. This happens only when both parties have, explicitly, agreed to it without the threat of force.
In particular, men are frequently encouraged to pursue behavior that can encourage sexual assault. Men are pressured to take the lead sexually even if that means being aggressive and forceful. Men are taught by society to do whatever it takes to "score." You may have thought, heard, or said any of the following, without thinking about the implications.
"I'm less of a man if I don't score"
"I'm supposed to take the sexual lead"
" 'No' just means she's playing hard-to-get."
"I bought her dinner three times..."
"We've been dating for three months; we should be having sex"
"Why else did she come by my room at night"
"Her eyes said 'yes'."
Even if she spends the night at your apartment, even if you've taken all the initiative in the relationship, even if you've been dating for three months, it is never okay to force sexual activity on anyone. Remember that lack of an explicit "yes" is lack of consent. When you have sex without consent (including sex with someone who is drunk or asleep and can't give consent), you are committing rape, even if you know the person or if the two of you have had sex before. Rape is a felony and is a violation of The University of Chicago Disciplinary Policy. Committing sexual violence can not only give you a criminal record, but it jeopardizes your academic career and your position at the University.
